I’ve been an annual participant in the Los Angeles Marathon since first running/walking/limping/crawling through the Northridge Quake damaged streets in March 1994. Thankfully in ’95 they implemented the L.A. Marathon Bike Tour, and from that year forward I have happily opted to set bike tread, not shoe tread, on the course. Then came 2003 and bolstered and cajoled by my dear friend and fellow B.la contributor Cybele, who had entered the marathon, I resolved to do both. So I got myself to the bike tour start line at 5 a.m., and like the 12,000 other participating cyclists greeted the sunrise by rolling through the traffic-free streets of our city. But unlike 99.94% of those 12,000 cyclists, I then biked back up to downtown from USC, changed in the cab of my truck into some dry marathon gear, met Cybele in front of the Central Library, and with the other 18,000 entrants made our way across the start line and the beginning of a 26.2-mile walk that ended ó thanks to some wicked blistering of my feet ó almost 8 hours later when we crossed the finish line, far beyond our planned finish window of 6 to 6.5 hours.

Draped in one of those foil blankets with my medal around my neck, I immediately vowed never ó never ever ó to do something so functionally ignorant again, which lasted all of two days when I started to get angry that I held Cybele back from a time goal she could have easily made without me limping and wincing along beside her. Telling her I was in if she was ó and boy was she ó I signed up for both events again. Unfortunately as the 2004 date drew nigh, Cybele was forced to withdraw and a bout with the flu left me barely able to wheeze my way through the bike tour this past March before smartly bailing out of what became one of the hottest marathon days in the event’s history.

But having signed up for both the bike tour and marathon two years running, the L.A. Marathon sent me the following email last night telling me I’m “bi” and that’s fine with me:
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On the way home from my honest-to-jesus Happy Accident, I elected to take Wilshire, having had enough of the heinous traffic on Santa Monica and Olympic. Got my first view of the 2004 Beverly Hills holiday street decorations and, well…I’m hoping they look better lit up. Because those weird crescent-shaped wedges strung up over Wilshire look like creepy evergreen eyebrows in the daytime.

Fortunately, they have enough scratch in BH to pony up (as it were) a more traditional holiday decoration, as well.

Ho ho ho, and all that rot.

So I’m heading home from a production meeting in Century City. Stopped off afterwards to grab a cuppa at the Coffee Bean on Beverly Glen and Santa Monica (which, true to form, had the craziest homeless guy yakking it up I’ve seen in some time–what is it about that particular Bean?).

I pull out of the Walgreen’s parking lot and–saints be praised–a parking enforcement vehicle turning left onto Beverly Glen throws me a two-lane block. Which is great, because the construction at that intersection has increased driver intolerance in direct proportion to it slowing down driver progress.

So I ease into the middle (straight thru) lane. A brand new Lexus pulls out of my land into the left (turn) lane. He’s sitting funny, but it’s a crowded intersection so I decide he’s nothing to worry about.

Wrong. Just after the light has turned green for southbound traffic (me) and southbound traffic (me) is moving forward, Lexus decides he’d rather go straight after all so he LURCHES into my lane as I am MOVING FORWARD for the GREEN LIGHT which in 99.999% of the countries on this planet MEANS GO. I don’t even know how that asshat squeezed in front of me, much less how I stopped in time, but the Escalade behind me didn’t have time and I got rear-ended.

We pulled around the corner to an abandoned parking lot to inspect the damage (not Asshat–he sped off down Beverly Glen as fast as his Lexus-so-new-it-had-no-plates could take him). But Escalade couldn’t have been nicer. In between my cursing out Asshat, he managed to say he was incredibly sorry, that he could see what was coming as soon as Asshat pulled his asshat move, but while my little Corolla could stop in time, his gigantic car could not.

Oddly enough, there was no immediately discernible damage–and he hit me kinda hard. But there wasn’t a scratch on his bumper and upon close inspection, just a teeny coupla dings on mine. Which I waved away–my bumper has already been scraped up from another rear-ender two days (!!!) after I bought the car.

Escalade kept asking me if it was really alright and I kept saying it was; finally, he asked how much it would cost to get the bumper painted–$200, maybe? I shrugged and said I guessed so, but really, not to worry about–

And the next thing I knew, he handed me two crisp $100 bills and after apologizing again and asking me to take it, got back in his car and took off.

But not before I got his name: Ari.

So Ari, thanks for making my week. A nice guy like you makes up for several dozen Asshat Lexus guys.

And as for you, Asshat: may the larvae of a thousand cockroaches find their birthing place in the crevices of your brand-new leather seats.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

As a kid growing up in Los Angeles my heart belonged to the Rams and the Dodgers, both of whom wound up breaking it. The Rams destroyed my concept of team loyalty when they moved my football gods from Memorial Coliseum to Orange County. And though I’ve hardly wavered in my devotion to the Dodgers, they certainly made it hard to hang tough with them when they rubbed the shine off my boyhood hero worship by trading Steve Garvey to the San Diego Padres.

A bunch older and a bit wiser I still passionately enjoy pro sports, but never since with the same connection I had in my youth. Be it teams or players, the now-standard transience in $ports (and this town) has left me wary and jaded. But then came out-of-work veteran pitcher Jose Lima last year to the Dodgers spring training camp as a non-roster invitee (that’s one step up from me showing up in Vero Beach and asking manager Jim Tracy for a tryout). With unbridled enthusiasm and hard work Lima got on the team and into the starting rotation and ended up posting a respectable 13-5 record before throwing down one of the most memorable games in team history, that remarkable 5-0 shutout victory at Dodger Stadium last October in Game 3 of the National League Division playoffs that entirely stiffled the St. Louis Cardinals and their league-leading offense.

There seemed little reason to believe after Lima’s inspired performance in that incredible game that I wouldn’t get the opportunity in 2005 to cheer him on from my favorite seats up in Dodger Stadium’s top deck. But then came the news in today’s Times: “Lima Time” in L.A. is over.
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I had to get my driver’s license renewed at the DMV on Tuesday morning, and I was really dreading going into the offices for the first time in years to get it done.

I made an appointment online for the Simi Valley offices, and this morning, I got to the offices, took a number, and waited to be paged.

And right at 9:30 AM, I was called to a window. I had the paperwork already filled out in advance, so I turned it in, paid the renewal fee, then walked over to another area so I could my thumbprint scanned and my photo taken.

I then got my temporary license and checked my watch. It was 9:35 AM. Crazy!

Since December is a month filled with gift giving holidays, I thought I’d get into the spirit with a great gift suggestion, especially for the cynics in the crowd. Brian Gage, a Los Angeles based writer whose “children’s books” deal with the social and political issues of today, has just published his fifth book, Burn, Christmas, Burn! It’s a dark, hilarious look at the ugly side of Christmas: the abused, overworked and underpaid elves in Santa’s Workshop.
It’s a really hilarious, easy read, so if you’re interested, check out his website, www.briangage.com, and makes somebody’s Christmas a little more political.

This probably won’t help my embarrassing TV addiction, but I’m enjoying the crackóer, my cable experienceófar more since I turned on my TV (well, launched my digital tuner) this evening and saw that Comcast’s horsey old-school chyron titles had been replaced by these pretty new digital ones, all tastefully proportioned and everything.

Frankly, it’s a pleasure to fork over an additional 15 bucks per month when it buys you not only convenience but aesthetic pleasure.

A long time ago, I asked for feedback about where to look for housing under $400k in central L.A. The common opinion seemed to be nowhere, but I’m here as proud owner of a new house to tell you that’s bullshit. Get a good agent (I used Brock Real Estate), make it clear what you’re looking for, and be realistic and patient. Something will come up. Now that I’m done, I can safely share the list of zip codes that I compiled for my agent without fear of having to battle any of you for a place. You might not dig all of these neighborhoods (and some of them, like 90019, are spotty so you’ll need to pay special attention to where the listings are), but I think they’re all liveable and some of them undervalued.

90034	Beverlywood
90232	Culver City
90019	Mid-Cityish
90027	Los Feliz
90026	Silverlake/Echo Park
90065	Glassel Park/Cypress Park
91205	Atwater Village
91204	"
91203	Glendale
91210	"
91202	"
91207	?
90041	Eagle Rock
90042	Highland Park
90029	Melrose Hill

Also, spend a weekend driving through the neighborhoods you’re interested in, looking at properties yourself. You may have an agent, but that doesn’t mean you should sit on your ass. And while I’m at it, I should point out that Eagle Rock is a total hidden gem. A lot of people told me that it was all tapped out, but we found a number of good properties there. The community is awesome.

I’ve taken to running in the mornings. Can anyone tell me how far it is around Echo Park Lake? I haven’t been able to find the distance online and the only map I have isn’t big enough to get an accurate measurement.

If nobody knows, maybe I’ll hold a contest…best guess wins…what? And while I’m on the topic, how about Best Movie Featuring Shots Of Echo Park? And how many people have drowned there?

Tonight, even though I had giant piles of work at home, I went out to see my favorite local band, the L.A. Riots. They were at King King, which I liked because it has a nice high ceiling. Maybe it’s because I’m tall or something, but I handle crowded places much better if the ceiling is far away. Even if I can’t go stand in that empty space above me, at least it’s there.

Oh wait, that didn’t come out right at all. Anyway, if you like blogging.la, go here and vote for metroblogging.

Even though I’m practically tone deaf, and can’t hold a tune, I thought that a piece from Handel might be appropriate. If you come out on Monday night, I’ll hook you up and you can join in as well.

Friday has always been Recycling Day on my block. So Thursday is the day I sneak around sticking my recyclables in my neighbors’ recycling bins because LA doesn’t provide bins or service for what it classifies as medium-sized multi-family dwellings.

Until now. Well, I think.

Last week, we in our ramshackle, rent-controlled, 14-unit hovel were each provided with two starter bags and an attractive glossy packet stuffed to bursting with informative, if redundant, materials on how to discern and recycle what was actually recyclable.

While I was encouraged by the official-looking blue bags and the hand-lettered start date (today!) on one of the tip-ins, I was a wee bit leery of the drop-off/pick-up details. I could not imagine that the intrepid LA Sanitation Workers were (a) going to figure out how to access our garage and then (b) haul each individual bag from the sodden pile that’s accrued beside our dumpster to their truck.

So I called the number on the materials and spoke to the very nice and articulate Jeff of the LA Recycles Pilot Program. He explained rather sheepishly that they had moved the start date to the 16th. I shouldn’t worry, though, because we would be getting our official building bin by the 9th or 10th. But, oh–that reminded him: someone was coming by tomorrow and they’d need access to figure out where said bin would go (to which I loudly say “HA!”–there’s not enough room in that peanut-can garage for a sandwich, much less another dumpster. Or dumpsterette).

I hooked him up with the apartment manager’s day number, which is good because this being L.A., she has to support her channeling vocation with a day job in television and isn’t home much.

I guess I’d be more optimistic about the whole proposition if at least the official website (URL prominent on the materials) was up. But Jeff said that, too, would be up “real soon”. I’m holding out hope, but not my breath…

Sometimes, when scandal is rocking the national pastime, again… when diversity is looked on as radical multiculturism and creationists open a Creation Museum… when explosions go off in Saudia Arabia, Spain, and Congo… even when those dastardly Canadians plot against L.A.…

Sometimes, what keeps you going is something simple, like a young hummingbird discovering the feeder, letting you get so close you have to stifle happy laughter while you take the shot:

One of the coolest holiday traditions anywhere can be found right here in L.A. at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion every Christmas Eve: The L.A. County Holiday Celebration, featuring performances of all kinds from local talent. Performing groups from throughout L.A. County – including choirs, music ensembles, and dance companies – reflect the vibrant spectrum of cultures found in southern California.

The show, which is admission-free, is a gift from the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors to the community at large. Attendance at the live show, which features 1000-1500 performers representing 38 groups chosen by competitive application in a six hour program every December 24, is a yearly ritual for thousands of families. The
2004 edition will be the 45th annual. Attendance and parking are free. No reservations or tickets are necessary. Doors open at 2:30pm. Seating is first come, first served. Attendees can arrive at any time and stay as long as they wish.

If you can’t leave the house, at least turn your TV on to PBS station KCET, which has broadcast the live show since 1965. It’s some great holiday programming for your holiday festivities.

I was reminded of this great event by Musikchyck, who sings for Vox Femina Los Angeles. They’ll be performing toward the end of the 6pm hour on Christmas Eve. I’ll also be excited to see my friends at GMCLA performing in the final hour.

Here’s the roster/schedule of performers… just another one of the “only in L.A.” things that I love about this crazy place.