Dear Trolls,

troll.jpgYou know who you are, you little rascals. Now I know things have gotten a little lax around here since I was out of town for a while but I’m back now so I thought I’d just go ahead and say “Hi.” So… Hi. Hows it going? Well I hope. And how about the family? They’re good too I hope. Super.

Now that I we’ve gotten that out of the way I wanted to bring up something and throw it out there for you to chew on a little bit. While it’s no secret that I’m no fan of anonymous comments, especially anonymous comments that exsit pretty much for the sole reason of starting shit – we all know that as long as there’s the internets there’s also going to be anonymous shit starting comments. So be it. We could get around that by requiring logins and all sorts of other who-ha but who really wants to deal with that? You? Neither do I. So we’re happy to live and let live. Or live and let troll. Whatever.

For the most part anyway. Recently it seems some of you have found a new low though. Trolls pretending to be other trolls. Yep. The only thing lamer than not having the stones to take credit for your own words is pretending to be someone else who doesn’t have the stones to take credit for their own words. Can you believe this is actually happening? Well it is.

Here’s the trick – when you post something, our system logs your IP address. Yep. So even if you don’t post your name we know a bit about you. And when the IP address that you usually have suddenly is associated with another name, we know someone is pulling some crap. Putting words in other peoples mouths, even other trolls, is pretty slimey. So we’re not going to put up with it. We could just ban you from the site, but that’s no fun. So this is what we’re going to do – if this kind of thing keeps happening, we’re going to dig up every bit of info we can about you based on your IP address, and any IP address you’ve ever used on the site and then we’re going to post it.

Right here.

For everyone to see.

Then you’ll be the opposite of anonymous. Everyone will know your name, your phone number, your street address… everything. If you don’t want that to happen, don’t be a fuck. If you want to talk shit, please use your own fake anonymous name, not someone elses. OK? Super.


9 thoughts on “Dear Trolls,”

  1. Aw, dammit.

    I was hoping to do something a little more humane.

    Like track them down.

    Wax their genitals.

    And then put Icy Hot on their freshly-shaved nether regions!

  2. Not sure IP address is really that indicative of trickery. I personally can be identified by a ton of different ip addresses.

    1. My home dsl
    2. My office’s T1
    3. My datacenter locations ip address when on site
    4. My cellphone using GPRS
    5. My neighbors wireless when i feel like stealing bandwidth.
    6. Starbucks wireless when I feel like overpaying for coffee and internet at the same time.
    7. The plethora of geek friends houses I occupy and browse the web from.

    Yes I am a geek and most people won’t have such broad access but it does illustrate that identification by ip address is ambiguous at best.

    –Sean (but not Bonner)

  3. Sean – I think you are missing the point. If all the sudden there starts being comments signed by Koganuts, or Cindy , or Michael, or Me but the IP Address is one that has been used 20 other times on the site but all 19 other times we’re signed “Sean Plaice” then yes, it is indicative of trickery.

    I’m not saying people are using different IP address, I’m saying they are using the same ones but with other people’s nicknames.

  4. So are you going to make a special section on the site or just post them as comments to this entry? Or just post them as a reply to wherever the trolling occured?

    Just curious from a logistical standpoint…

  5. If you hadn’t said all that about trolls, I’d have left an intelligent comment.


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