Finally, a GOOD L.A. car accident story

So I’m heading home from a production meeting in Century City. Stopped off afterwards to grab a cuppa at the Coffee Bean on Beverly Glen and Santa Monica (which, true to form, had the craziest homeless guy yakking it up I’ve seen in some time–what is it about that particular Bean?).

I pull out of the Walgreen’s parking lot and–saints be praised–a parking enforcement vehicle turning left onto Beverly Glen throws me a two-lane block. Which is great, because the construction at that intersection has increased driver intolerance in direct proportion to it slowing down driver progress.

So I ease into the middle (straight thru) lane. A brand new Lexus pulls out of my land into the left (turn) lane. He’s sitting funny, but it’s a crowded intersection so I decide he’s nothing to worry about.

Wrong. Just after the light has turned green for southbound traffic (me) and southbound traffic (me) is moving forward, Lexus decides he’d rather go straight after all so he LURCHES into my lane as I am MOVING FORWARD for the GREEN LIGHT which in 99.999% of the countries on this planet MEANS GO. I don’t even know how that asshat squeezed in front of me, much less how I stopped in time, but the Escalade behind me didn’t have time and I got rear-ended.

We pulled around the corner to an abandoned parking lot to inspect the damage (not Asshat–he sped off down Beverly Glen as fast as his Lexus-so-new-it-had-no-plates could take him). But Escalade couldn’t have been nicer. In between my cursing out Asshat, he managed to say he was incredibly sorry, that he could see what was coming as soon as Asshat pulled his asshat move, but while my little Corolla could stop in time, his gigantic car could not.

Oddly enough, there was no immediately discernible damage–and he hit me kinda hard. But there wasn’t a scratch on his bumper and upon close inspection, just a teeny coupla dings on mine. Which I waved away–my bumper has already been scraped up from another rear-ender two days (!!!) after I bought the car.

Escalade kept asking me if it was really alright and I kept saying it was; finally, he asked how much it would cost to get the bumper painted–$200, maybe? I shrugged and said I guessed so, but really, not to worry about–

And the next thing I knew, he handed me two crisp $100 bills and after apologizing again and asking me to take it, got back in his car and took off.

But not before I got his name: Ari.

So Ari, thanks for making my week. A nice guy like you makes up for several dozen Asshat Lexus guys.

And as for you, Asshat: may the larvae of a thousand cockroaches find their birthing place in the crevices of your brand-new leather seats.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

9 Replies to “Finally, a GOOD L.A. car accident story”

  1. Xeni posted the perfect solution to address the rest of the Asshat drivers in LA on boingboing.net today: road rage cards. If not for the fear of getting shot, I’d be able to use those bad boys daily.

  2. Colleen,

    Come on, you have never made a stupid move on the road before, maybe from zoning or looking for an address..? I wonder if they referred to you as Asshat or something more colorful? People make mistakes, even in stressful production meetings.

    Jacky Treehorn

  3. Hmmm, Jackie…do you maybe drive…A BRAND NEW LEXUS?!?!

    Seriously, this was not a mere stupid or absent-minded move; this was an ASSHAT move–selfish, aggressive AND stupid. Stupid, I can handle; putting someone else’s safety at risk on a whim is not okay. Ever.

    And I say this having made plenty of stupid moves out of distraction, confusion, whatever. (And I’ve always grateful, both for the intervention of Traffic Angels and skill/patience of my fellow drivers. After I got over the initial humiliation, of course.)

    So I make the distinction and stand by it. Stupid and asshat, not the same.

    As for the road rage cards, I don’t like the idea of them any more than I do the idea of citizen’s arrest (or even citation) for perceived wrongs. The system as it is is flawed, but citizens reporting on each other could lead to scary abuse and cards would only further enrage the already angry.

    I’m afraid love really is the answer. It’s just in pretty short supply these days.

  4. I was just invloved in an accident in October, and had my own asshat experience. This one made a left in front of me when I was going 35 towards a green light with all the right of way possible. I swerved to avoid him, barely missed his precious bmw and ran right into another one. He then proceeded to leave the scene.

    So Jackie, making stupid moves and mistakes: fine. I do it more than I’d like to admit. But there is NO EXCUSE for leaving the scene of an accident that you caused. It’s illegal and more importantly, a seriously f’d up thing to do. I really hope that karma bites all of these asshats right in their…well…asses.

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