Just what LA needs…


Fogarty and I ran into these walking crap factories in Hollywood yesterday. We stopped them and talked to them for a minute and they said they don’t have a regular beat. They just go where Herr Kommandant orders them to go and wave the flag. Oh yeah, and drop a few tons of horse shit all over the town they’re visiting. Way to make the locals really dig ya.

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14 Replies to “Just what LA needs…”

  1. That should be spelled “Herr”.

    I don’t see the point of police cavalry in the city, though I suppose it’s better than Segway police.

  2. Car shit floats up up and away. You step in horse shit and it sticks around. I didn’t see any guys with shovels following them around and they weren’t using crap bags so that means it’s stuck on the streets making Hollywood smell even MORE like ass than it already does.

  3. I saw these guys on Friday crossing Vine at Sunset. I’ve seen them by the Y at Argyle as well. Pretty strange idea. I was thinking it must be a PR thing.

    BTW, horse manure “pollution” was a serious problem in major cities back in the day. Any pollutant in large amounts is problematic.

  4. Haven’t seen any piles on the way to the Y which I walk pretty much every day so at least that’s good. Only human and dog shit along that route :-) And there’s no way in HELL I’m gonna ride a bike in this neighborhood. I barely feel safe around most of these jackasses in my 2 tons of steel. I might bust out my skateboard now and again though. At least I’m nimble on that thing and can get out of the way :-)

  5. I’d rather have a bit more horseshit and a little less smog from cars. It’s not like there’s so many pedestrians here who could be offended by horseshit now… With nobody walking in the streets, nobody will risk stepping into it. So where’s the problem?

  6. I used to think no body walked in LA too but there are a LOT of people that don’t use a car in this neighborhood. A LOT of them and I’m one of them. And who do you think the horse cops are there to patrol, besides being a PR stunt? Pedestrians. You think a horse cop is going to chase down a BWM that was just in a robbery or drive by? Only in a Governator flick. No, I’m afraid you’re dead wrong on this one. And what do you care about smog? Roll up the windows and turn on the AC and drive on by in style.

  7. Well, nobody asked me, but…
    I don’t really think there is any sort of comparison to even be done between horse shit & smog, today; Nor do I think that a few piles of horse shit are poisoning our beautiful Hollywood streets, since some of them are pretty fucking dirty already- human shit smells worse than horse shit, last time I checked.
    Mounted police ARE relatively effective in situations with large crowds or pedestrian traffic; yes, they are there solely for pedestrians. But in contrast, cops sitting in cars are just that, in a dense crowd they might be ineffective.
    I am not trying to be pro-police or anything, certainly not after being repeatedly maced by orange bombs dropped by helicopter from the San Bernardino County Sheriffs last weekend at Ozzfest after giving blood at the KLOS Blood Drive.
    I really love trying to help people & go see Judas Priest at the same time. That part was fantastic. Until I was rewarded by 200 officers in full riot gear attempting to incite peaceful concertgoers. Mounties are the least of our worries, my dear friends.

  8. They were here for a PR stint. It’s not a normal beat. And I’m not saying who’s shit is smellier. All I’m saying is we have enough dog and human shit in the street already. Why add horse to it for no good reason. Hollywood smells like a fart already. Why make it worse?

  9. shit jason, you got a whole lot more shit about that shit article that i would have expected. apparently there are a whole lot more shit loving people in my shitty home town than i thought.

  10. I think Jason’s whole point is that the mounted police could at least have crap-catchers attached behind their mighty steeds (like they do in Chicago). In fairness, the cops seemed like decent enough folks and they even stopped to talk to us. This neighborhood could do with a lot more cleaning up on a regular basis, and every little bit helps (or, in this case, hurts).

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