So this week, I couldn’t put it off anymore. I went in for that bastion of our American democracy. I got called for jury duty. Many are called. Few serve.
I actually LIKE jury duty. You get to meet all sorts of interesting folk that you wouldn’t normally see . And then you get to sentence them for long stretches in the joint.
Not this time however.
When I got to the jury room, there were only 5 of us called. Nevertheless, we had to get the 45 minute orientation from Jeremy the Jury Clerk. Poor Jeremy the Jury Clerk. His entire speech consisted of variations on “I know you don’t want to be here. It’s not my fault. There’s nothing I can do about. Please don’t yell at me.” We even got to hear how his sister-in-law hung up on him because he couldn’t get her out of her jury duty.
Bad enough for Jeremy the Jury Clerk that this was his lot in life, but one of our cohort of 5 was an ornery, prissy little sour puss, who challenged the assertion that EVERYBODY had to serve jury duty. “Well, how many members of the board of Supervisors have you seen in the room?” “How many celebrities?” “How many Academy Award winners?”
They let us go at 11:00am. Still, Mr. Priss was complaining. I was only upset because yet again I didn’t get to be on a jury.
As Mr. Carlin once said, “I’d make a terrific juror, because I can spot guilty people a mile away.”