Dear La Jolla, California:
Hi, my name is Jessica and I would just like to make a few friendly suggestions.
LEARN TO DRIVE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP. Please don’t slow to 1.2 mph when making right turns. It’s green. That means you can go. It really throws off us motorists awaiting the chance to make unprotected left turns across from you. Don’t dodge into the front of my car at the last minute without signaling because you forgot to get in the proper lane. Not that signaling would excuse you from making me brake like a maniac while swerving to avoid being hit, but you know, it’d be nice.
Well, I guess that was really just one suggestion, but your Thai food also made me kinda sick. I don’t hate you because I got to see sea lions up close on your beach, but your residents are ridiculously preppie-pop-punk so that makes me want to vomit on your metaphorical face. I will be returning in two weeks, so I hope that you will take these suggestions into consideration and make it snappy. I appreciate your time, thank you.
Until next time,