I don’t wanna be an import model…

January 3, 2004 at 3:56 am in Uncategorized

I want to be a food model. Food is much more delicious than import cars, as very scientific studies have shown. Sex sells and food must be sold (well, actually, I guess it’s more important to buy food or else you’ll starve, but whatever. Why you gotta be so anal about this anyway?) so I think food ads should feature more skanky Asian women in lowrider jeans and scanty tops. I mean, doesn’t seeing a young woman with thick brown lipliner and severely highlighted hair just say “eat me” in multiple ways? What is a better match than a string bikini and a steaming plate of pot roast? Seriously, that’s hot. And that way, you can have calendars with not just filthy skanks, but also lots of pretty foods with the food stats along the side. People will read more about what they’re eating, import models can moonlight in food modeling when they’re not busy answering questions about themselves, and pubescent boys have something else to whack off to instead of back issues of Gen13 and Witchblade. Everyone wins!

Damn, where’s my Jordana lipliner??

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