None of my friends are art folks so I come to these things alone. It affords me the opportunity to blog in real time from the parking lot though :-)

That’s right, TWO. In the sixspace you all know and love, “The Drawing Show” with works by Duncan R. Anderson, Tim Biedron, The Clayton Brothers, Richard Colman, Coop, Donovan Crosby, Fafi, Kurt Halsey Frederiksen, Seonna Hong, kozyndan, Liz McGrath, Laura Mosquera, Martin Ontiveros, Deth P. Sun, Florencio Zavala. And, in the brand new 6PR located directly next door, “Pedagogic Eruptions” by Emmric James Konrad. Both exhibitions open at 7PM and run till 11PM. sixspace is located at 549 west 23rd street in downtown LA, that’s right between Figureoa and Flower streets a little south of the 10, just north of USC. Did I mention it’s going to kick crazy ass?

I’m calling out all the L.A. alcoholics in the quest for Vodka! I’m trying to track down a liquor store in the Hollywood or Santa Monica/Venice area that sells a Scottish Vodka named “Brilliant“. My friend Brian swears by the stuff and I’m on the lookout for any and all good Vodkas. I’m frankly getting sick to death of Grey Goose and could use a change-up. So anyone who has seen this brilliantly named spirit please give me a heads up and a mapquest link and I’ll be your friend forever. Unless you smell funny then I’ll just pretend to be your friend. Either way I’ll owe ya one. And if you’re a Blogrolling user I’ll even give ya a free 2 year Gold Pass comped.

Trying to save money means going to a ghetto chinese dentist in hopes of getting the wink wink nod nod discount. But that didn’t work so well as one of the first things he said to me in cantonese was, do you speak. And I replied with “a little”. A “little” he mumbled and spoke to me in english for the rest of the session. Kiss that discount goodbye.There was a little bit of conversation but with me being doped up and two or three instruments in my mouth, who really understood what was going on.

Dentist: How many did you want out today
Yum: Hey, I have a choice?!
Dentist: Oh, all four
Yum: Psyke on me.

Dentist: Boy, this one doesn’t want to come out.
Yum: Maybe its not suppose to come out. Did THAT ever occur to you. Maybe it wants to stay home with all his other teeth friends. Its quite the nice family inside my cozy mouth and they get prime rib and roast duck quite often. Its ok little guy, I’m bringing you home with me.

Dentist: You’ll have to minimize your brleedthing.
Yum: What?! Did you say breathing or bleeding. Either way, its not happening. Unless your chart mistakenly says david blaine on it, I’m still breathing and bleeding. That moisture from my nostrils. The red thing coming out of my mouth. Its all that breathing and bleeding you want me to “minimize”.

Dentist: Your jaw might get all bruised. Black and blue but don’t panic. You might have really bad breath. But don’t panic. Don’t get into any fights, your mandible is really fragile right now.
Yum: Bad time to try hitting on ginger (the cute receptionist) than.

Dentist: Yea, ginger is a hottie.
Yum: Excuse me?

Dentist: Sometimes ginger and I have insane sex right where you’re sitting. Yea, it gets crazy sometimes.
Yum: You didn’t really say that did you.
Dentist: How would you know. You’re all doped up with a bunch of shit in your mouth.
Yum: Oh great.

Sixty minutes later, I’m mumbling my way out of the dentist’s office. I do have a follow up appointment a week later…if I want. Did I talk to ginger. Just hi and bye. Am I going to make a follow up appointment. Hell, I didn’t get no discount, I didn’t even get a complimentary tooth brush. I’m coming back for something.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

My buddy who works at Lockheed sent me this videolink. I have not checked the numbers, so those who are pro-uranium fallout needn’t slam me with stats. The squeamish may want to pass on watching.

Today, another word was banned in Los Angeles county: DONGLE. Instead, you should use the new term, APPENDAGLE. This is just getting silly.

I just picked up a domain for one of my little pet projects called the “No Access Project” for total lack of a better or even the slightest bit creative name. Basically It’s a photo essay of places in L.A. that I see that are specifically designed to keep people out or just pretty photo’s of devices to aid in the pursuit. I’m going to be adding to this in the future and will open up a public section of the site for user submitted photos if I get enough interest. If you’re really really bored check it out.

People in Los Angeles seem to have a huge problem with stationary objects.

This photo I snapped yesterday is a good example.

Another good example would be the side-view mirror I found dangling on the door of my car this morning.

Not a huge deal except that less than a month ago someone in a much bigger vehicle backed into the hood of my car. Again, while parked.

Being someone who has no problem avoiding things that aren’t moving — I assume if by some chance I steamrolled a parked car that I’d be more than willing to write a note.

Am I asking too much of people?

I just noticed that it’s sprinkling outside, and some dirt is beginning to turn into mud.

Are we on STORMWATCH yet?

I’m getting out the Earthquake Kit, just to be safe.

The organizers of Spanish tech conference Artfutura asked me to write a primer on the history of weblogs for a publication distributed at the event. The essay is now online, here’s a snip.

“When I was a child, my father hauled an abandoned antique printing press into our house one afternoon. He was an artist and writer who had a habit of falling in love with discarded tools, the same way I became routinely obsessed with broken dogs and fallen birds. But this thing weighed over a ton.

He’d become enamored with the way words from the press felt in his hands, divided into chunks of lead characters. Sentences formed like spines strung from vertebrae. I remember exactly how the blocks of type felt when he placed them in my small hands — they were palm-sized then, but cold; sharp enough along the corners to puncture skin. Heavier than the wooden alphabet building-blocks I played with upstairs.

I remember the acrid smell of black ink, and the slapping sounds of my father spreading each blob into a thin film that coated wide plates of assembled text. Gears made metallic groans when he heaved his giant body into the wheel that set the press into motion, a wheel as tall as he was, a wheel that smashed wet steel plates into paper to form printed words.

The press was an elderly oddity: a fat, shut-in houseguest who consumed two rooms, accompanied by floor-to-ceiling cabinets of paper and type trays. Homes didn’t have PCs in 1974, but there were many more efficient ways to speak to the world. My father wrote on a typewriter, and words were published in books, newspapers, and magazines. But words that came out of this press had a scent. A personality you could feel with your fingers. Whatever my father’s words were, when they were printed this way they had history, as if he had squeezed them through a time machine on their way to the sheets of vellum extra-bright white.”

Link to Spanish, Link to English. For more essays from Artfutura contributors including Terence McKenna, Lev Manovich, and others, try this: Link.

Matt Welch points to this discount flyer that you can print out and bring with you to The Derby this friday night and it’ll get you into the Stevie Joe Poltz / Ken Layne & The Corvids show for $6 rather than $8.

If there’s one thing that’s true about me is that I love all things drawing. Can’t really explain it other than there’s something about the quality in the craft of drawing that, well, draws me in. That’s why I knew I would have to curate The Drawing Show for sixspace’s annual group show this year and boy is it looking great. With each drop off and delivery, I’m experiencing Xmas over and over again. There is a lot of work in the show, ranging from small to large pieces, works on wood, paper, and board, from artists in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, Chicago, New York, Minneapolis, and France. Some of my favorites were wonderful enough to take part…Laura Mosquera, Clayton Brothers, Richard Colman.

In conjunction with “The Drawing Show” we are also opening our project space next door to the gallery called 6PR. Los Angeles artist Emmeric James Konrad will be exhibiting new and recent paintings and drawings in addition to a live-painting event the night of the opening. His brutish and beautiful works are bold and humorous.

The opening receptions for both are on Saturday, December 13th from 7-11 pm. You know it’s free! For those newbees, sixspace is a contemporary art gallery in downtown Los Angeles (just south of the Staples Center) in-between Figueroa and Flower at 549 West 23rd Street. We’re a friendly space with a little minpin who is our greeter. Check it before you wreck it.

Home Depot has this truck that schmucks like me can rent for $20 an hour if you need to carry something that you bought at the store and it’s too big for your own car. I need to buy some crap that I can’t carry in my own car. So I head over to the Home Depot on Wilshire and Union and the truck is sitting outside. I go to the counter and tell the lady I need to buy some crap and want to rent the truck to take to the gallery. She tells me to go get my stuff and buy it then come over and talk to her. So I head out into the store and load up a grip of plywood and 2x4s. Like, a LOT of them. I head up front, pay, and tell that lady I am going to be renting the truck so that she can charge me for it. She watches the stuff while I walk down to sign the form and get the truck, but guess what? The lady I talked to isn’t there anymore, and the new lady says the truck has been rented. What? I tell her what’s up and she informs me that it’s not really rented, it’s in use by the store and will be for the next few days. NEXT FEW DAYS??? What the shit am I supposed to do with all this wood I just bought? I Drive a VW GTI for crying out loud, I can’t carry plywood with that! She tells me there’s nothing she can do in that ever so friendly “go fuck yourself” way that is a standard feature at Home Depots nationwide. I start making phone calls. No one has a truck. I’m screwed. 30 minutes later I walk outside and the freaking truck is still sitting there unattended. The gallery is 5 minutes away, I could have been there and back already. I go in, find the lady and see what’s up. “It’s being used” “No it’s not, it’s sitting outside” “It’s in use” “Seriously, I’m telling you, I’ve been here for almost an hour and it’s still sitting outside and hasn’t been touched.” “Sorry, it’s in use.” Great. So, I’ve got $200 worth of wood sitting at Home Depot down town and no way to get it a mile away to the gallery short of spending $75 on a U-Haul. This blows.