AS CHEAP AS YOU ARE

Who names their restaurant KANG KANG?? What does that even mean? It doesn’t matter though, because this late night Chinese food-obtaining place has the best deal EVER. EVER! $4 gets you rice, soup, and three entree-sized sides of your choice. They also have excellent shaved ice (3 toppings for just over $2) and serve great peanut milk. (“What the shit is peanut milk?!?”) Well, Mr. Filthy Mouth, it’s like if someone took peanuts and milk and made that into a smoothie. It’s good. Really.

Kang Kang has two locations that I know of, both in the Monterey Park area and off the Garfield Blvd exit of the 10 freeway. Head south for the one in a shopping square on Garfield and Garvey. Head north for the other in the shopping square on Garfield and Valley. Do not fear the clumsily translated English menu, just bring your ability to point.

notes from LAX

Waiting at my gate I’m able to hop on the wifi connection from one of the three starbucks within 20 feet and since I know everyone is sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for an update I just wanted to let you know the scoop. Getting through security was a snap. We budgeted 2 hours and it took about 3 minutes, hence the time to blog from the gate. If you watch “Dude, Where’s My Car?” as much as I do you’ve no doubt gone looking for the Pink Pussycat Lounge around town and had no luck. Well, it’s in Terminal 4 at LAX. Minus the atmosphere and the breakdancing stripper, but rest assured the 6’5″ gender challenged male is there, only instead of wearing some slutty stripper get up he/she has on a starbucks uniform and just served me a latte. That, and both male and female phone sex opperators have taken second jobs making “very special announcements” over the loudspeakers about “staying close to your personal, private baggage” and the nasty, dirty concequences you’ll face if you don’t. OK, boarding now.

Another L.A. Christmas

The greatest part of living in LA and being stuck here for the holidays is that the traffic is pretty damn decent. Since there are so few people that are actually from here there is a mass exodus every year around this time to parts unknown by the homesick. Those of us that are just too stubborn or broke to leave enjoy empty streets and short lines at the Chinese take-out. It’s truly almost worth not going home to be able to not get stuck on Hollywood Blvd. for hours on end just trying to drive 2 miles to see your friends. So how many LA folks are actually staying here for the holidays? I’ll count myself as vote number one. I just got back here. Not in the mood to brave the high terror alert and LAX for the folks this time around. Especially since the hijackers like coast to coast flights and that’s what I’d be on.

High Alert Again

CNN: “…Ridge urged the public to be patient with stricter security measures “in the coming days and weeks” and to proceed with holiday plans despite the threat.”

I’m sorry, but isn’t a threat a THREAT? Like, if some dude came up to me waving a gun in my face and was like “Dude, give me your money or I’ll shoot you in the face.” See, that’s a threat. I couldn’t just proceed with my plans. I couldn’t just say “I’ll be sure to elevate my security measures in the coming days.” So what are we supposed to do? What’s the point of the alert if we’re supposed to just go about our business? Our duty is to be patient with high alert security as we spend an extra hour waiting in line, then worry about our plane blowing up the whole time we’re on it. Good system. Thanks. Anyway, because of all this, I’ve decided to sell all my WMDs, so if you’re interested, leave your number or whatever.

Just another hip party…

So my friends have me over saturday for a crazy night of monopoly. Which somehow was really different than the crazy sex and drugs I imagined it to be. Afterall, they’re artist type with artist type friends and they live in silverlake to boot. But maybe thats just me watching too many movies. But there’s something about their house that freaked me out. The bathroom. They don’t have a lock on it. Not that i was doing anything i would be ashamed of but you know, no lock. And they have all these jesus candles staring down at me too, like who could masturbate to that….err, not that I was thinking of doing that but just in general, thats a lotta jesus there. About a dozen? Also, my friends – very tall. Their toilet paper roll, not to the side but in front of the porcelain stall, a good foot and a half away. So if i’m sitting down, thats a long way to go – my ass is leaving the donut. It ain’t pretty it ain’t safe thats all i’m saying. And imagine if someone…not me but someone…was doing a judge reinhold from fast times. He’s gotta turn around to grab that tp.

Yea, thats what I kept thinking about as I left a party in the hip part of town. The bathroom.

Chinatown

Here’s an interesting, if not totally confusing/pointless, article in the LA Weekly on the art galleries in Chinatown. It kind of hints that Chinatown may be haunted and that’s why one of the gallery owners overdosed on heroin and another went temporarily insane but my theory is that’s just what happens when you run a gallery. Enjoy kiddies.

Watt playing 2 gigs tomorrow night

Mike Watt writes in and says:

“…tomorrow’s my birthday but there’s two other things that are more important going on then. one of them’s a benefit which I think if you can support then it would be great if you could come. both gigs have kira and me as dos but this benefit one at nine pm at di piazza’s lets us have the honor of trying maybe a tres kind of thing w/our little band cuz flea’s gonna come down and jam w/us. the third time mike martt has asked to us to play for the wooten center and I very much think it’s a good cause so come on and help out, please. the other event involves brother matt so you know it’s gotta be righteous too.”

So if you need plans for tomorrow, or need a good excuse to get out of some other plans, there you go.

6PM: brother matt’s “burrito day” celebration
at little pedro’s blue bongo cafe, 901 e. 1st st., los angeles, ca (213) 687-3766

9PM: a benefit for the wooten center
at di piazza’s, 5205 e. pacific coast highway, long beach, ca (562) 498-2461

New food resource

While clicking random links on blogs I came across Eat LA which is part blog, part food critic. Each entry is a review of a new place to eat. I just skimmed it and saw a lot of places I need to check out soon, as well as a few I need to go back to. There’s pretty much no info on who does it, or actually any info outside of the reviews, which is a pretty interesting take. The oldest entry is the only one not a review and says:

“I spend too much money on meals out, and I spend too much time talking to friends about restaurants and places to go in this city. Thus, this blog — to make me feel less guilty about the former, and to cut down on the latter.”

Sounds good to me. I added it to the LA Resource roll on the left. Enjoy!

Holidays in LA

whotel.jpg There’s nothing that gets me into the Holiday spirit like watching the trendy set in their Uggs sweating it out on 3rd street doing last minute shopping.

Spotting all the Urban Outfitter’s types in their store bought but-made-to-look-hand-knitted scarves is like seeing Santa’s elves packing up the sleigh. It gives me goosebumps, really.

These sights would all be fine if we were not in the midst of a weeks worth of 70-75 degree weather.

I’m not suggesting it’s appropriate to pull out the summer slip dresses but please, shouldn’t these folks leave all the trendy winter accessories at home when the mercury rises?

Top Ten – Los Angeles Art

It’s that time of year and everyone is doing top-ten lists and I thought it would be neat to do a top ten list for what went down in LA in the art scene this past year. I must admit, though this year has gone by fast, it was a long year so please let me know if I missed anything or need to add something!

So, in no particular order…

1. Best museum show ñ Laura Owens at MOCA

2. Best sixspace show ñ it’s like children, how do I choose? But some that are close to my heart are Seonna Hong, Richard Colman, ìGirls, Girls, Girls”, Shepard Fairey, & Chad Robertson.

3. Best gallery show ñ the first Millicent show

4. Best show that I missed ñ Marcel Dzama at Richard Heller (though I did get a sneak peak when the show was over) and Cecily Brown at Gagosian, Beverly Hills

5. Best emerging artist in 2003 ñ Rachell Sumpter

6. Best art purchase ñ Neil Farber (for my birthday) and a pirate painting by Camille Rose Garcia.

7. Best artist book ñ Clayton Brothers ìThe Most Special Day of My Lifeî

8. Best artist items ñ anything that Liz McGrath makes

9. Best new medium ñ embroidery

10. Best artist I finally met ñ Raymond Pettibon

And the worst? The passing of great friend and art patron Craig Myers…we miss you!

Jesus my ass still hurts

So on Tuesday I spent the entire day at the Arclight seeing the entire run of Lord of the Rings. Fellowship and Two Towers extended versions and then finishing up with Return of the King. RotK is now in wide release and everyone is gushing over it so I will spare the details. I have to give it one “Holy fuck that was the best movie I’ve seen in YEARS!!!! And I feel my anus healing from the fisting I got from the Matrix sequels!” but I will stop now. There were many ren faire rejects there mucking up the works and more TV crews than at OJ’s trial but we got thru it. When I walked in the door I said “I wonder how many people will get fired today?” and we heard at least a dozen people bitching about the cams because they called in sick. Lesson. If you have a job that won’t let you out for an all day Lord of the Rings fest you need to get a new fucking job!!! If my boss said I couldn’t go to this we’d be out in the alley having it out. Fortunately my boss is pretty fucking cool and was trying to get me sent up for jury duty so he could rape my wallet and go in my stead. I prevailed and am the better for it but learn from my experience. We even got free trinkets and lanyards. I was in the front row too so if I was on the Jimmy Kimmell show I was the bored one in the leather jacket. oh wait, that was everyone. Anyway good stuff and I swear by the corpse of the velvet garbed tards in the restaurant that the Arclight is the best theater ever. 12 hours of film and not one talker or cell phone. And they have BOOZE! Rock the fuck on!

And I have to finish up with THIS. I’m still laughing. Props to Pirillo for the heads up! Maybe we beat BoingBoing on a good funny but I doubt it.