Fo’ sho it was a bling blangin’ day of fun in LA! There is treasure everywhere in this little town and we dug up a big ole crap load of it today.
First stop was the fabric district where my artsy-fartsy-craftsy friends needed vinyl to make wallets. As my friend Stinky kept repeating, “it’s like Disneyland… it’s like Disneyland with frabric.” And unto us were showered gifts…
Find #1: The Virgin Mary beach towel and fuzzy blanket. Nothing says devoutly faithful like hey, why don’t I emblazon the Madonna’s image onto my beach and sleep paraphrenalia? It was like seeing God… except not.
Find #2: I gots to get my bling on, ya heard?! I got a necklace with a crown medallion (set in orange crystals). Who’s tha big dog now, beeotch? Tha’s right. Second place bling: Stinky has three faux platinum chains each with its own medallion (received from a friend recently). One is a circle with two intertwined dragons, one is a bulldog, and the last is a SHOT GUN. Not an AK-47, not even a handgun, but a straight up SHOT GUN. The three medallions are all encrusted with “diamonds” which promptly fell off after the first wearing. NICE.
Find #3: This old man was peddling Power Ranger toys on the street, but upon closer inspection, I realized the box said “Gao Rangers”. Gao is my last name; so how awesome is that?? I guess no one else would really care unless they have that last name too. So fine then, I apologize for wasting your time with that one. Just remember, I have my own Power Rangers and you don’t.
Fate just loved my big butt all day long. After downtown, we hit the Jewish Women’s Council Thrift Store in West LA where I obtained the soon to be classic book, “Thoughts” by Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins. For those of you poor souls who have yet to have the shining majesty of enlightenment in your lives, Ms. Watkins is the “T” in TLC, the all-girl R&B group. The book is a collection of her poems and essays (i.e. stories about herself) and contains such literary gems as her poem on how abortion is murder (“It’s Murder”) and the fiercely femininist poem “Late Night Calls”, which begins: “This belongs to me/ this between my legs”. However, I would be robbing the readers of this blog if I didn’t share two items from “Tionne’s Daily Top 20 List: A Guide for Self-Improvement”. These are my two favorites, as I’m certain they will be yours as well:
“9. Personal hygiene does matter… first impressions last.”
“18. You can’t see if you don’t open your eyes – just because you can see the pupils does not mean the eyes are open. Helloooo…”
And with that concludes the Day of Bling.
Helloooo… (I swear that was in the book)