Does he know its christmas…

Passing by the sam woo’s barbeque restaurant late at night, I see the parking security man standing alone kept company by the few cars parked in the small lot. He carries a gun but I don’t know if he ever uses it. He’s an alone guy. But I don’t mean lonely – I don’t know him that well. He’s just there by himself doing his job. When I eat there by myself, I wonder if he thinks the same things I do.

Greeters at pottery barn, the guess store and the gap. Thats a pretty fucking cool job. You just stand there and say “hi” to everyone. You don’t have to sell to them, you don’t have to keep an eye on them, you just say “hi”. And smiling is optional but probably preferable. How can people not like you – thats gotta be great for the self-esteem. All you have to be careful about is sore feet but just wear a comfy tennies or penny loafers and you’re all set.

How come some girls have pants that ride up the crack of their ass. Don’t get me wrong, its nice to a certain degree, but I’m just wondering why it does that. Is it special pants and are they wearing thong undies. Must they wear thong undies to obtain that effect. Whats going on there. Its almost the exact opposite of the plumbers crack. Man girl. Top bottom. Gross provocative. Yea, pretty much the exact opposite.

Why don’t the chinese have sandwiches. The mexicans have tortas and the vietnamese have…vietnamese sandwiches. And the bao is not the same. I love my people but they missed out on this one. Big time.

Waving to the security man as I walk home, he beams me a smile. Maybe he’s not thinking what I’m thinking. But maybe he knows the answer.

Merry Christmas