Mouth wide open

Trying to save money means going to a ghetto chinese dentist in hopes of getting the wink wink nod nod discount. But that didn’t work so well as one of the first things he said to me in cantonese was, do you speak. And I replied with “a little”. A “little” he mumbled and spoke to me in english for the rest of the session. Kiss that discount goodbye.There was a little bit of conversation but with me being doped up and two or three instruments in my mouth, who really understood what was going on.

Dentist: How many did you want out today
Yum: Hey, I have a choice?!
Dentist: Oh, all four
Yum: Psyke on me.

Dentist: Boy, this one doesn’t want to come out.
Yum: Maybe its not suppose to come out. Did THAT ever occur to you. Maybe it wants to stay home with all his other teeth friends. Its quite the nice family inside my cozy mouth and they get prime rib and roast duck quite often. Its ok little guy, I’m bringing you home with me.

Dentist: You’ll have to minimize your brleedthing.
Yum: What?! Did you say breathing or bleeding. Either way, its not happening. Unless your chart mistakenly says david blaine on it, I’m still breathing and bleeding. That moisture from my nostrils. The red thing coming out of my mouth. Its all that breathing and bleeding you want me to “minimize”.

Dentist: Your jaw might get all bruised. Black and blue but don’t panic. You might have really bad breath. But don’t panic. Don’t get into any fights, your mandible is really fragile right now.
Yum: Bad time to try hitting on ginger (the cute receptionist) than.

Dentist: Yea, ginger is a hottie.
Yum: Excuse me?

Dentist: Sometimes ginger and I have insane sex right where you’re sitting. Yea, it gets crazy sometimes.
Yum: You didn’t really say that did you.
Dentist: How would you know. You’re all doped up with a bunch of shit in your mouth.
Yum: Oh great.

Sixty minutes later, I’m mumbling my way out of the dentist’s office. I do have a follow up appointment a week later…if I want. Did I talk to ginger. Just hi and bye. Am I going to make a follow up appointment. Hell, I didn’t get no discount, I didn’t even get a complimentary tooth brush. I’m coming back for something.